There probably are many psychologists and apparently instructed people trying to answer this question, but if you ask a shaman, you are going to get a completely different answer. So to the question, why do we feel lonely?
One of the great mysteries, or great discoveries of Toltec shamanism is the way we view our energy. We see it as two spheres, or assemblage points, which together make one larger sphere. These assemblage points are the points through which our world, our body and our awareness is assembled. The larger sphere is the observable universe, -not just the physical one- but the whole universe to which we have access. One of the assemblage points is located in a very specific place within the sphere, which is the position of this time and space, and is the same place where everybody else has their assemblage point located, thus, we all exist in the same world, this world, this time and space.
The other assemblage point however, is not in this time and space. It’s right behind it, really close by; but we cannot have the two assemblage points at exactly the same place, otherwise, we would have two bodies! So one of the greatest things to know, that has been hidden from us, is the fact that we are actually two beings, not just one! Ever find yourself talking to yourself?
Another curiosity is that each assemblage point has a different gender. Whichever one is assembled, is what makes up your body. Some ancient Toltec shamans that practised advanced sorcery, were able to switch their assemblage points, which meant they could switch sexes!
Advanced sorcery like this could seem like something to look up to and to grow to, but no, quite the contrary! Ancient Toltecs were trapped by the lures of power, of this power, and in the process discovered that power was a trap, the third enemy of the warrior, and that it could be defeated, and that freedom was the ultimate reward. Today we face as a humanity a new trap of power, the power of money, which has engulfed all of mankind into a vicious cycle of self destruction and of the destruction of all of life, and that has much to do with our wounds and our loneliness, we will get to that further ahead.
You may already be familiar with this type of Toltec shamanism, as it was well publicised by the books of Carlos Castaneda and others who worked closely with him like Taisha Abelar. There are other very serious books that swear this is all fake, that Don Juan didn’t exist and that Carlos Castaneda got this information from a library. If that’s the case, then great, he did a great job of gathering information, which by no means is a product of just imagination. So we are going to integrate this wisdom and at the same time we are going to go somewhat beyond it to answer our question, so please stay tuned.
So first there is natural loneliness and the longing of the loved one, which according to Castaneda’s books it’s the longing of our other us, our other assemblage point; which is not in this world, not in this physical one at least, and yes, not seeing him or her, can make us feel lonely. But then, it’s the modern world and the modern pseudo-scientific mindset that would never consider us having another “us” just outside this time and space, and this is what is really aggravating natural loneliness: the modern world, in many ways we will explain.
So let’s start healing. How do we heal from this longing for our loved one and this feeling of being alone? By changing our mindset and accepting there is a world beyond the visible one. Starting a relationship with the spirit world and with the invisible universe. Practising shamanism. Starting a relationship with the other you, knowing he or she is there, and yes, talking to yourself, accepting yourself, knowing yourself, and most importantly, cultivating yourself.
When little, we are forced to go to school and learn subjects that we don’t find appealing or useful. From here we start developing a type of hate for learning, for knowledge, we start getting our learning and perceptive capabilities impaired. Modern civilisation is not advanced whatsoever, it’s a huge minion factory. We are not cultivated, on the contrary, we are raised as empty shells, filled with input but with little or no output. This obviously makes us feel lonely.
Monotheistic religions have also been corrupting mankind for centuries. Here, our relationship with the sacred and divine becomes corrupt, because we see in the institutions and those who are part of them that they act not like what they predicate. We learn that there are two realities, one that is predicated, one that is lived. This is shown to us in this world as the only sacredness there is, the only way to access the divine, and this makes us empty, and makes us feel lonely.
The first step to heal loneliness is finding a path in which to self-cultivate, finding your own path and finding your sacredness. In this path you will discover you are divine, that you have a purpose in this world, and that god, the spirit, or the divine has a special mission for you and he can speak to you. You will begin then to start thinking and perceiving for yourself, and relating to the invisible, amongst that, your other self! In a change of mindset, and specially if you adopt the Native American (North and South) one, then you know that animals, houses, mountains, clouds; everything has a spirit, a being, a consciousness; that you can, you must and you do already relate to, and that you felt lonely because you denied it, because the modern world denies those relationships. But wait, there is more, there is a lot more.
Maybe you are at this point already. And maybe you’re thinking that great, you’ve found your own path and all that has done is make you more lonely. It has drawn you apart from the rest of the herd, you find yourself spending much more time with yourself and less time with others. Part of you thinks that’s alright, the part that we’ve explained so far, but another part of you knows there is something wrong, and there is.
Ancient Toltecs would maybe tell us that being happy with ourselves is enough. That we die alone, that facing solitude is the path itself of the warrior, of the spiritual seeker. But this is not true to all of the extent, it’s greatly misinterpreted. First, let me tell you a secret. According to a South American indigenous author who interprets a calendar found in the solar gate of Tiwanaku, Bolivia, we are at the beginning of a 4,000 year-long cycle of communitarian living. We just finished a 4,000 year cycle of individualistic development, were ancient mega-civilisations separated into smaller nations and everyone retrieved to the mountains to seek self-enlightenment.
This is all necessary, part of the cycles of growth and development, and the great news is that we are back to the new communitarian cycle. This means that we are all very well developed souls already and we are at the beginning of a time when we are all going to want to come together, gather up, make new communities, join nations and make the world come together. It doesn’t mean that we must all become one homogeneous culture with no diversity, that is fascism. It means that after a while there is no much more to discover and grow by retrieving into the self; that our inner selves, our individual souls had the time necessary to grow and re-discover individually through the ages and that the self-worth, self-enlightenment paradigm is no longer up-to-date, there is a new model coming.
It means that our greatest spiritual discoveries and feats will now come when we relate to other beings, when we come together and begin finding new ways to love each other. We know and feel this is here, inside we are grown and ready, but the outside world, the matrix, the shell takes a little more time to be cracked and be thrown away. This hurts, because we are so ready to love, we are so ready to meet our life partners, to re-define love relationships, to re-discover the power of couples and love and turn that into a new vehicle and model of social engineering (and this is what matters today, no longer just our souls, but our bodies, our world, our community). We are so ready to meet those souls that have been born far away yet are bound to come together and become family.
We are so ready to construct new communities, new nations, to redefine our loyalties, to abandon old structures and build new ones. And we are so overwhelmed by the immensity of the task ahead of us and how little, apparently, we advance to that goal. The actual modern world is still severely selfish and individualistic, and this has been aggravating with the last couple of years, as the paradigm of privacy and apparent individual freedom grows (believe it or not, these two things are not all that great, I will do an article about that later). This makes us feel lonely, because we are yet so diluted in the solution of a completely different paradigm. We are having a hard time finding loyalty that is not submissive, we are having difficulties finding the way, balancing out and shooting through that small hole where it can all happen.
But it will happen, you will find the way. I’m finding it right here, right now, with these words, reaching out to you. Let’s come together, let’s make a community!